Why is making friends important?
Firstly, understand that straight guys find it difficult to make friends for a number of reasons. It can be hard to put yourself out there, especially if you’re used to being the strong, silent type. But it’s okay to be straight and want to make friends with other straight guys. In fact, it’s perfectly normal!
Making friends is important for several reasons. First, friends provide us with support and companionship. They are there for us when we need them and we can rely on them to be there for us in good times and bad. Secondly, friends help us to develop our social skills.
Through interacting with our friends, we learn how to communicate effectively, resolve conflict, and understand different points of view.
Finally, friends can help us to expand our horizons and experiences. By sharing new activities and interests with our friends, we can learn more about the world around us and grow as individuals.
Suggestions
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- The first way is to get involved in activities and hobbies that interest you. This will help you to meet people who share your passions and interests. Joining groups and clubs is a great way to make friends as an adult. It may surprise you that archery is a great activity that virtually anyone can do and the local clubs run beginner courses for total novices… everyone is at the same level and it is not particularly expensive to get started. Maybe you’d like to have a go at Fly Fishing… see our post here.
- Giving/donating your time can be a great way to make friends as an adult by volunteering for organizations or causes that you care about. This is a good way to meet like-minded people and make lasting friendships. This could be as simple as walking dogs for the local rescue or helping collections for a charity shop.
- Another great way to make friends as an adult is to attend social events and gatherings. This could include anything from happy hours to networking events. This is a great way to meet new people and expand your social circle.
Most towns have a meeting place for the local bikers. I visited the one near to me and met a local GP, a Boeing 747 pilot, a childminder, care workers and ex-police. Just visiting, buying a cuppa and walking around looking at the bikes and people will start talking. - Sprechen Sie Deutsch? Parlez-Vous Français? How about enrolling at a local night school to add a skill, maybe a second language, improve your maths/English, learn a craft, etc?
- Lastly, one of the best ways to make friends as an adult is to simply be yourself, but put yourself ‘out there’. People are attracted to others who are genuine and authentic. If you’re friendly and open, you will be more likely to make lasting friendships, and always, always, begin with the assumption that people will like you, after all, that is the default mode for any society.
I used to be a sales trainer and an exercise We would run with the class was this:
You’re invited to a party and when you arrive the host is busy getting things ready and tells you to go into the lounge. When you walk in there is one other guest already there, The Pope! What would you say to him?
– Ask questions about his life. Where is he from? What does he do for work? Does he have any pets?
– Talk about your hobbies and interests. Do you like sports? What kind of music do you listen to?
– Share stories about your own life. This is a great way to connect with someone on a personal level.
Final Thoughts
Making friends as an adult doesn’t have to be difficult. Just take the first step and reach out to someone you’re interested in getting to know better. Who knows, you might just make a new best friend!
FAQ
Why is it so hard to make friends?
There are two main ingredients that need to be in place for us to make friends organically, and they are continuous unplanned interaction and shared vulnerability, things that are naturally available to us as children but diminish as we go through life. Reawaken your inner child.
Can I make new friends online?
In some case, yes; however, the irony of social media is that it is decidedly anti-social. Tone is often lost and meaning misconstrued. It is an alien environment for humans. Rather than making new friends online, we make contacts or aquaintences. Quite different to truly making friends.
Further Suggested Reading
This is a great book about making friends. It works on the premise that we are our own worst enemies, doubting our likeability etc.
Platonic: How Understanding Your Attachment Style Can Help You Make and Keep Friends
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